Shingle Belle

I'm here at Hotel Brompton. Chelsea's finest. I'm actually eating a scone at the moment. As you do.

I was admitted last tuesday afternoon, after getting a Picc line (it's a longer lasting intra-venous line) put in on the monday. The line was a breeze putting in - by a breeze I mean it took an hour and a half, however I was just napping through every failed attempt as the anaesthetic worked it's glorious numbing magic. Tuesday afternoon I dragged my wheelie suitcase to Foulis ward, where I am now chilling with said scone.

IV drugs, and extra nerve painkillers were prescribed for the shingles and all the unearthed hissy-fitting bacteria that have sent my lungs into a mini frenzy. Viruses do that to my lungs. The shingles rash had faded slightly, but the sensitivity and itchiness definitely escalated once I came in, resulting in little sleep and a lot of tossing and turning. It's also drained the life out of me - last week and the beginning of this one I could hardly move from my bed, only waking for meals and some half-hearted physio. I enquired about all my blood tests - whether my dose of antibiotics was too high, my iron levels, my infection levels, but everything is relatively normal. I was told it's just the shingles working it's toxic viral evilness. I finally feel perkier today, a week and a half in, and by perkier I mean i'm not craving a horizontal position and crying if my head hurts. Yay fun times.

That's my 'fun times' face

I was planning on starting a coding course online (bare with me, i'm pretty sure this isn't just the drugs/ exhaustion talking) because I think I should if I ever want to be employed when sick, BUT I haven't yet had the energy to. I have an inkling that even if I felt up to it that may have been the final straw and send me into a stupor I can barely wake up from. Instead I just laughed at Green Wing until my brain can now finally process more than crass jokes. (You MUST watch green wing on 40d - jesus fuck I forgot how funny it is!)

I've bought with me some books (i'm even struggling with books!) - Never Let Me Go by Ishiguro and The Crystal World by Ballard which i've both been itching to read for ages, just never found the time too. BOO ADULT LIFE. I love working and stuff but bloody hell I never ever find time to just read anymore. It's one of my big disappointments. Reading has always been such a huge part of what I love to do, but when I have free time these days all I do is scroll meaninglessly down a Facebook or Twitter feed, watch videos that have absolutely no meaning or relevance to my life posted by people I don't even care about. Like what's that about. The internet and my iphone is eating away at me. I think this is why my attention span has diminished to almost nothing - there's always something new to keep me entertained if I'm bored.

I'm hoping to escape on friday - I know this sounds quite trivial but I have a gig I want to go to on saturday, and I'm craving my home and some normality. This room has drained the life from me, I feel that without a sense of routine and normality I stew and rot, and as soon as I return to my life outside hospital I immediately feel myself again. This shake up of routines and detachment from the usual things you do in your every day life has a strange effect on me - there is no reason to get up, no reason to get dressed, and I become a slouchy slow version of myself. It's taking living in a bubble to the max, and I need to get out of it. Home IV's were discussed, but they wanted to keep an eye on my Tobramycin levels and kidney function as the Tobra has been throwing my kidneys off a bit the last couple of days. My rash has almost gone, the pain has completely gone, it's just a little itchy now. The tiredness was also a reason home IV's were dismissed, as they (and I in all honesty) wasn't sure if I would be able to wake up for them. Thankfully the tiredness has almost gone too, and I definitely, finally feel up to going home. I just hope they agree with me on the big ward round today, I will use all the persuasive skills I have! Consultants are tough to crack but it's been done before and maybe... um maybe can happen again...?? Maybe......