I think I should do an updated version of my transplant for you all to read, a version where I pander to this attention seeking trend. I'll put in all the terrible parts, the parts where I was in tears both for pain and despair, and just how terrible I really felt. I don't write about that shit because thats just a part of it, of course you're going to feel terrible. But maybe if I did people would realise what I went through was huge. It was massive. But the fact I had a transplant that wasn't lungs seems to simmer down in the lowly ranks compared to the awe and glory those having lung transplants receive. When will people realise that CF isn't just about lungs? That a lung transplant isn't the hardest thing anyone with CF will contend with? Try having an operation just as big - arguably bigger (definitely bigger) - and have shit lungs to contend with. The narrow mindedness of some startle me. You may shit on me for saying this, but a lung transplant is piss easy compared to what i've been through. I wish people would realise this. It's one of my pet hates when people think CF in a lung condition. It's not. Now try having a 12 hour operation, another 4 hour operation, 2 general anaesthetics, 3 new organs, 4 months of recovery in hospital, all the time not being able to breathe. It'd be a breeze if you had sparkly new puffers to wake up to. I'll undoubtedly get slaughtered for writing this, but I actually don't care. I feel as if I had succumbed to this attention seeking-whoreish nature some have taken upon themselves, more would realise what I, and many others have gone through or are going to go through when livers pack up and die. Instead we're left with the same culprits and their hoards of fans who throw around words such as "inspiration" and "hero" at them, giving the impression they are better/ stronger (or sicker and more worthy of sympathy) than others going through similar situations, when in reality everyone, even those with lowly liver, pancreas, intestine transplants are equally as heroic. (We are! Though how it's heroic to not die is beyond me!) We ALL cope with shit, and arguably better than the ones who plaster it all over facebook and twitter just for the hundreds of comments that will come flooding in afterwards to boost their already inflated ego. I hope it fucking bursts.
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
Territorial Pissings
I think I should do an updated version of my transplant for you all to read, a version where I pander to this attention seeking trend. I'll put in all the terrible parts, the parts where I was in tears both for pain and despair, and just how terrible I really felt. I don't write about that shit because thats just a part of it, of course you're going to feel terrible. But maybe if I did people would realise what I went through was huge. It was massive. But the fact I had a transplant that wasn't lungs seems to simmer down in the lowly ranks compared to the awe and glory those having lung transplants receive. When will people realise that CF isn't just about lungs? That a lung transplant isn't the hardest thing anyone with CF will contend with? Try having an operation just as big - arguably bigger (definitely bigger) - and have shit lungs to contend with. The narrow mindedness of some startle me. You may shit on me for saying this, but a lung transplant is piss easy compared to what i've been through. I wish people would realise this. It's one of my pet hates when people think CF in a lung condition. It's not. Now try having a 12 hour operation, another 4 hour operation, 2 general anaesthetics, 3 new organs, 4 months of recovery in hospital, all the time not being able to breathe. It'd be a breeze if you had sparkly new puffers to wake up to. I'll undoubtedly get slaughtered for writing this, but I actually don't care. I feel as if I had succumbed to this attention seeking-whoreish nature some have taken upon themselves, more would realise what I, and many others have gone through or are going to go through when livers pack up and die. Instead we're left with the same culprits and their hoards of fans who throw around words such as "inspiration" and "hero" at them, giving the impression they are better/ stronger (or sicker and more worthy of sympathy) than others going through similar situations, when in reality everyone, even those with lowly liver, pancreas, intestine transplants are equally as heroic. (We are! Though how it's heroic to not die is beyond me!) We ALL cope with shit, and arguably better than the ones who plaster it all over facebook and twitter just for the hundreds of comments that will come flooding in afterwards to boost their already inflated ego. I hope it fucking bursts.
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I'm all for people venting on their blogs/twitter/facebook if they're feeling crappy but the ones that do it constantly are immediately unfollowed! 'A negative mind will never give you a positive life' right? I don't know who's rattled ya but anyone who doesn't realise how big an op yours was and what a horrid ordeal you've been through just because you don't talk about it has gotta be unbelievably thick. I've noticed this stupid divide between people who've had lung transplants and people who haven't and it's completely ridiculous! I don't get it, we're basically all in the same boat and should be supporting each other.
ReplyDeleteI was so peed off for you when I read that your lungs were really playing up after your transplant, I swear they always choose the worst possible times to be naughty! As if you didn't have enough on your plate already. Maybe you don't wanna hear it but I've always found you a bit of an inspiration really because your blog is always so positive (and bloody funny!) Obviously I get that you have down moments like we all do but you seem like a 'Keep Calm and Carry On' kinda person...very old-skool British haha! That's enough fangirling from me, don't want you to get a big head ;)
Lots of love xxxx
In my eyes, anyone who goes through a transplant, no matter how big or small, is incredibly brave and strong. Don't let them get you down, Laura. Sending you lots of love! xxxx
ReplyDeleteI personally think the people that keep there struggles to themselves and don't publicize it are the strongest ones. Doesn't seem fitting that this means they get less recognition. For what it's worth I think you've been incredible through all this, always keeping a great sense of humour and a positive attitude. I can't even imagine what recovering must have been like with bad lungs =(.
ReplyDeleteEven though I'm not in the same CF situation I get a lot of people who think that a liver transplant is no big deal. I'm not sure why liver transplants are so misunderstood. Anyone who was not there will never really understand. I wish people talked about transplant and the whole process more. One of the things that always bugs me about Transplant documentaries is they never show the recovery, they make it look like everything is immediately better after you get that new organ. Ops sorry I've gone on a bit of a rant here. Hope everything else is going well with you! Xo