Wednesday, 31 July 2013

A very merry un-birthday

It was surreal being back at Addenbrookes last week for my biopsy. I was in the room next to room 23 where I spent the majority of my stay (room 24 now I'm 24!), but the same green rural view. Now however, the fields that before were dusted with snow are now full of chunky diggers as the work starts on what I presume will be the new extension of the hospital. I was only there for one night - my results came back late afternoon which showed slight rejection, but should be sorted by increasing one of my drug doses. A slightly shorter stay than last time eh!

All the slight niggles that were bothering me in the last post seem to have been resolved - I had been started on an aminophyllin tablet which aims to open the airways, and hopefully stop my breathlessness. However the doctors thought it could be that which was making me sick, and on stopping it i've been feeling much more myself. The breathlessness is still an issue - it's not debilitating, however being used to such reasonably dreamy lungs I can't help but feel constrained by this onslaught of tightness. It is an issue, and I seem to now have a constant reminder of shitty lungs which takes its toll mentally. I've been lucky never really feeling like this before, but I can now see how it can prevent you just doing normal things.

It's also pretty safe to say I still have a blob head. Chipmunk cheeks. How long on god's green earth does it take for steroid shit to get out of your system? I've even been naughty and stopped my overnight feeds to see if losing weight will help, but it's the same. Chill, i've re-started my feeds now like a good girl. My appetite seems to be slowly creeping back too which despite the mental tug-of-war with my weight, i'm really pleased about.

Continuing my naughty streak, I didn't renew my gym membership so havent gone to the gym in about 3 weeks. What I keep telling my mother is that it's just too hot. That is a perfectly acceptable reason. I don't want to drown in my own sweat or, I dont know, get heat rash? I think it's fatal. Thankfully, as I write those grey clouds are closing over, the sun is deciding that torturing us was fun while it lasted, and drops of rain are starting to land on my window. These few days of rain and storms have heralded in the cooler weather, and therefore the start of Laura being good again. (I think?)

I won't completely shit on the summer; my favourite part is lying in bed at night, windows and blind wide open, watching the sky and feeling that very welcome breeze. I normally sleep with my blind closed, but I now find myself counting stars, watching planes that are like stars on steroids and the surprising speed in which milky grey clouds stream across the sky. Then seeing a bug fly in, freaking out and spending half an hour trying to find it and squish it, not always successfully. (Now i'm tethered to the feed pump again i'm thinking I might close the bloody window...)

Anyway, i'll leave you with a picture of probably the best item of clothing ever. Yes, ever. I had my 6 month sparkly bits anniversary last week (mum threw a little party lmao). Happy half birthday LIV II and Panc II and bit of gut II. Hope you're happy in der.

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